One of my favourite stories that my mother tells of my childhood is when I was three years old and she was driving me to her mother’s house for a visit. Looking at me in the rear-vision mirror, she asked me, “Darling, what would you like to be when you grow up?” to which I answered without much hesitation, “An astronaut.”
“But darling,” she soothed, “You can only be an astronaut if you are American or Russian.”
So I sat in the back seat there and pondered for a while.. and then came back with, “OK. I’ll be a bus driver.”
From one extreme to the other… or is it?
When I was only little, I was passionate about becoming a lawyer. Super passionate. When I feel into that vision I had as a young girl of perhaps 10 years of age, I can absolutely connect with why I wanted to do it. I am a champion of humans and what I feel is justice, and I’ll fight for it, with every ounce of my sass, intelligence and deep, deep heart. That wallflower in the corner who thinks their opinion is ego-based and that they’d be better off meditating through it? That’s not me. It wasn’t then and it isn’t decades later. It’s funny that although I chose not to go down that path, the fire and passion within me that feels compelled to stand up for certain issues, or rather, fight the Goliath, has not diminished at all.
Before that.. at the age of about 7, I was uber-passionate about botany and was sure to become a botanist. I was fascinated with the differences between plants and how they behaved, served, existed.. and I would draw them all the time. I was outwardly deterred from following my passion there by a distant relative – amazing how a few words can affect a child so very much.
Besides JUSTICE and PLANTS, the only other area that could have wholly taken my attention and efforts was SINGING. And it was very early in the piece that I knew that I needed to use my voice for other purposes than public speaking or making music.
But what is so amazing is that I feel a fulfilment and expression of all of these passions co-existing in my sacred path as a sound healer and medicine woman. I fight away destructive and ‘negative’ forces and stand SOLID and STRONG for the heart and spirit purpose of those that come to me for healing or growth. I literally converse, and in no uncertain terms, with energies that sit around/on people that I work with. I fight the Goliath, but with my voice, not in a courtroom. (Thank God, can you imagine wearing those bloody suits?) As a knower of our galactic brethren, who whisper to me and send frequencies through me, I don’t need no space rocket. And I surely don’t need to be American or Russian to be an astronaut. And my passion for the plants is coming through in my healings as I’ll call in the spirit of Ayahuasca and Huachuma and Ruda. When I call in Ayahuasca, my clients see black snakes. I am working closely with plants.. and I gave up on this idea when I was 7! I am only just recognising the beauty of this as I type now. And of course, my joy of singing.. my absolute knowing that the vibration within the human heart, MY HEART, expressed through physical vibration has such intense power in our world.
And my understanding now of why I wanted to be a bus driver shatters my own heart. The love and humility that I feel when faced with everyday man…. I get them. I get YOU. My empathy is real and powerful. And like a bus driver, I’ll carry you where you want to go.
Let’s never underestimate the musings of a child.
With love from my heart to yours…. xxx