This is my Purpose now.
I CAN DIE NOW.
I feel my purpose so strongly. I could never have imagined my creation, A Story In Sound, to have been so much of a success last weekend in Sydney..
In the physical, it appeared to be a group of incredibly courageous, open, willing folk – the real deal – banding together to experience and discover new shamanic ways of relating to power and healing via vibration and voice. But in the metaphysical, so so much more was happening. When I close my eyes and try to recount it, it was like a double-toroid spread from my heart and within it were 24 portals into other ancestral and dimensional lines – through blood and through soul – and all were opened for us to travel through and discover and heal. And we did that in full integrity, safety, courage and honour. Such is the beauty of the human warrior. Such is the beauty of the shamanic way. To journey between worlds and perform miracles. Miracles of love. Miracles of healing. Our space out of space teemed with animals and plants and colours and orbs and apus and all manner of saints, guides, gurus, goddesses…. x
Like a thick-cut piece of rainbow love-pie. We had it all in our hands that weekend. And we ate it together.. which always makes things taste better. To share…. x To heal together.
I really and truly believe that I could die happily now. OK, so I haven’t travelled in a UFO yet this lifetime.. but y’know what? Nothing could satisfy more than what I experienced, felt and saw last weekend within those hearts. Nothing. The magic and mystery of this planet’s ways and her heart is no less unfathomable than the mysteries of the further galaxies. As above, so below. Do you know how to look?
I recall the first moments I decided to create another level or a deeper layer to my sound healing discoveries & offerings and I remember how strongly my mind tried to thwart my heart’s efforts. I remember my mind telling me ‘What do you know? Who do you think you are?’ etc etc. MY GOD! What I created and successfully delivered last weekend was utterly majestic, ‘a masterpiece’ as one participant put it. The love in that room.. the families reunited as a result of our journeying between worlds, the empowerment attained, the absolute life-changing awarenesses, decisions, affirmations… the deep ancestral healings…. x Floods of tears became me, once again, as I watched and felt the people share their wins at the end of the 3-day journey. To know that I am living my purpose, living a life to light a torch, to light a way for souls to remember themselves, to remember their power, to remember their sovereignty and to remember their insanely potent powers of healing and communication….
I. Could. Die. Now.
Good thing I’m a rotten Aries and can’t stop creating for love nor money. HA. x
You ain’t rid of me just yet…. xxx
I birthed another masterpiece. x I’ve got tonnes more up my sleeve, I just know it. x
More than ever, my instinct to mother, protect and guide is super strong. This dual feeling of being ready to die now and feeling so much more ahead is incredibly freeing….x
The point to this post? I don’t know… does there need to be one? I’m happy. I’m proud of what I’ve created. I’m proud of people. I’m proud of the human heart and it’s strength, vulnerability and resilience and depth. I’m proud of Pachamama for acing through this. ACE. She’s just ACE.
And I’m proud of you. Whoever you are and wherever you are.
I love you.
Come journey with me one day………
I inspire you to give more to yourself.
My beautiful friend Meredith Shippam told me yesterday, “Chrissie, you give like the sun.” I never actually stop. Even when I think I’m not giving, I am. In some subtle way.
I broke down for giving too much of myself. I broke down for not being given to as much as feels healthy and balanced. Yes, I am strong and yes, I can heal and yes, I can help and yes, I care. But there seems to be a gross misconception on our planet that says strong people don’t need support. If you’ve got it ‘all sewn up’, then people don’t give but expect even more from you. Without blame, without consciousness mostly. This is what I see. Most times, this world astounds me and I feel fully in love with it. But occassionally I am greatly disillusioned and really wonder, and mourn, where folks are at. It hurts my heart.
So….. I shall give more to myself… xxx
This week, when my heart was breaking and my mind felt as though it was melting down with the pressure of a million tugs at my energy, I ran a hot bath and poured in my favourite oils of ylang ylang and eucalyptus. I pulled the blood red rose petals from a bunch in the kitchen and scattered them in the water. And as I soaked, I committed to buying myself a bunch of roses every weekend, from this moment on. I will keep them in my home to inspire and spread beauty and then I will wear them in my hair all week long. I feel beautiful with roses in my hair. At the end of the week, I will take the petals and run a long, hot, oil-rose bath. Because I am a luscious queen. And I am deserving of this level of respect and care and receiving..
Can I inspire you to commit to one completely new weekly ritual that honours yourself, nurtures your soul and takes time out from Life to be kind? Something different… using space or actions or objects that you aren’t already relating closely with.. Something NEW. And if you are a single mother – healer – CEO – community giver, then I pretty much demand that you do this for yourself. ;)
With great love and blunt, in-the-moment heart-truths..
What a wonderful word that is, ‘unleashed’!
God knows that we wonderful witchy women have been leashed here on Planet Earth over the millennia. And it’s not just the women but our beautiful brothers also who have been recently ‘leashed’ by so many of the limiting ways of our modern society, so many of the true masculine powers being deemed ‘unnecessary’ in this convenient modern world.
What would it feel like to you to be truly UNLEASHED. What is holding you back? What limits are you putting on your energy? Which limits are you accepting from the world or people around you?
Powering up in this world can be a fight. We fight the good fight here on Planet Earth. We reclaim our powers inch by inch or in full-blown tidal waves, yet reclaim our power we must. We centre in our hearts, we drop deep into our healings, we eat the right foods, we avoid the media monster and pop arts and fashions that dull the true majesty of the human race and of this planet, we follow our passions, we watch our energies, we lead our children, we are led by instinct, we make bold and courageous decisions. We plant fruit trees, we honour the relations and delicacy of men and women together, we invest in self-care, we are confrontingly honest as much as we can possibly be, however uncomfortable… as we pave new ways of being that allow us to be truly powerful and UNLEASHED.
Please have a good listen to this interview by BRADLEY MORRIS of COWABUNGA LIFE in Canada. We talk about some fantastic topics and areas for unleashing YOUR powers. If you find this medicine helpful and it resonates with your spirit, please do share it with as many people as possible!
(This blog post is best accompanied by Elijah Ray’s A New Earth Is Rising, on repeat. If you don’t own this magic already, find it. It is strong medicine.)
The only way to describe the way I got home last night is to say that I glided.
My support vehicle, The Condor, absolutely glided home so peacefully, so gently… and in fact, this 40-minute drive ended up being one of the most spiritually profound moments of my life.
After a truly beautiful day at a friend’s property tucked up near Minyon Falls, really right at the end of the crystal road, I drove away from some of my beloveds at nightfall with the Milky Way spraying its ancient wisdom all through me from above, the medicine of the San Pedro cactus more strongly affecting my heart and spirit than it had all that day, as I drove to meet my children, my most beloved of All.
Elijah Ray, one of the most profound souls to have touched my heart (thank you Brother Ray!) sang his song, A New Earth Is Rising through the stereo, over and over again as I calmly turned the wheel of my ship through this galaxy.. effortlessly, truly, reverently, bound for the babies of my belly, the guardians of my Life.
When I picked up my babies, we calmly and so openly shared our wins for the day. I told them all about the medicine and how it was making me feel and all that I wished for our hearts and our relationships and our lives. I told them that Elijah (their favourite now) was singing to us about our world changing and would they like to hear this magical song and sing along to it with me? ‘Yes mama’, their little voices chimed. Zion shortly fell asleep and my daughter, my precious, precious daughter and I drove toward what was one of the most powerful experiences of my Life.
Tears streamed down my face in rivers, without so much as a sound or even a slight movement in my shoulders, fluid and giving…. representing my gratitude for the Love that I share with my daughter, with my Life… ‘Thank you for being my daughter, Ini.. Thank you for being my daughter,” I repeated slowly, over and over again. Of all the beings and of all the places in the Universe, she chose to be my daughter, and the overwhelming love and gratitude I felt for this in this moment made my heart all but disappear into an ocean of all-consuming beingness in Love.
I reached my hand back to hold her little hand in the darkness, Elijah soothing us ever-deeper into the consciousness of what is actually occurring on this planet: WE ARE RISING. ‘A New Earth is Rising, Gaia is her name. A New Earth Is Rising, Nothing will ever ever be the same..”
And in our rising, the GALAXY IS DESCENDING.
I touched Ini’s hand and immediately felt and saw in my spirit’s knowing the most beautiful celestial being I could ever imagine, a resplendent golden and peach butterfly golden ever-being, superfine, super beautiful and immense in every way, more golden that Light can be, more fine than the subtleties of the ethers, more ancient and knowing that God itself, within my daughter. This being is my daughter and is being delivered by my daughter and in holding hands with this being, I felt the golden light and love flood up my arms via our fingers and reach my heart. I am crying again now as I write. I have no words to describe this.
I know that the galaxies are with us and if we only feel with our hearts and trust with our hearts, then our experiences on the Spirit plane will show and connect us to more and more of the magic that is really occurring right now, on this New Earth. This is not the stuff you read about and not the stuff that YouTube will show you. But your heart, the medicines of the plant world, the medicine of the children, the medicine of music and Brother Ray, the medicine of the grandmother pouring from my heart, these are the portals for interactions that will show you with certainty that this New Earth is Rising and the Galaxies are Here.
“Two. Princesses.” Ini said to me.
What is your essence?
Who are you, behind your name, your clothing, your Facebook profile, your doingness and your life. What is the essence of your soul that chose to incarnate? What name would you give to that energy? Is it the name your parents gave you?
When I was 19, I became obsessed with the Jesus story. Having passed through the Christianity phase of my life when I was 12 and 13, I then returned to it at age 19, but this time with the energy of the theosophist. I remember having clear understanding at that time that I was the one that I had waited for.. and at that time in my life, whilst journalling a name was given to me. It just dropped out of the skies into my heart and mind. Clearly. No thinking or pondering it over. Bam. There it was. It came at a time when I was focusing much energy on the power of the individual soul to shine brightly, to heal many, to live his life’s purpose.
I scribbled it down and marvelled at it…
And then I hid it. It became my email account password. I would write ‘Fire-Mane’s Writings’ at the beginning of new journals.. but it stayed hidden to both the world and my full acknowledgement. As I did.
It tried its’ hardest to seep out into the world via my creative life. When I was a rock singer in Paris and London I was talking to costume designers about ‘Fire-Mane’, half pirate woman – half comet. I could see her crystal-clear. She had streaming fire-red hair, black boots, serious, bad-ass direction and herculean power of heart for the human race. I wrote songs about the ‘Queen of Wands’, with hair of orange and yellow and red and gold.. ‘and although my hands may be small, it’s with strength I hold my silver sword.’ When I sing these songs now to myself, I cry.. so incredibly beautiful was my passion for people.
Yet still she stayed suppressed.
Finally when I clawed my way out of the darkest period of my life in 2010, the beginning of my Life started, and all sorts of things started flowing into my heart – gifts from God. Rewards for never giving up. Rewards for staying true to my mission! I have soared since…..
One of the gifts that came in was my true heart memories of my time in the Native American nations. I remembered our names. I remembered how we honoured our essence. (And I remembered how my first love Lachlan Milne, after watching a native American film, started calling me Stands With A Fist. ;) He told me, when we were 17, that I would be one of the great women of the world. You never forget things like that. At that age, you can probably count the people that really see you on one hand. I shall never forget that gift he gave me.)
And then in it came like a lightning bolt – FIRE-MANE.
My God, it was my name. And I was not going to hide it one second longer! The spiritual expansion that I experienced upon deciding to OWN my name was mega. Once feeling this, I knew I was on track , as expansion = YES and contraction = NO THANKS. After 15 years of hiding my name away in musty journals, I was ready.
So what does it mean?
I am a fire girl. Fire is the element that I understand most and it is my gift from God. My fire lights and warms many. My fire drives me to natural and massive production. I am passionate about this element and during my ceremonial magic days in London in my early 20s, I had a particularly strong friendship with Djinn and the salamanders – the King of Fire and his elementals. We worked together much! Aries with Aries rising and Aries in Venus. Plenty of cardinal fire. Not fixed. Not mutable. Cardinal. (You’ll love this.. I’ve just flicked to an astrology site and plastered down one side of the home page in large red letters is: “YOUR NAME IS NO ACCIDENT!” Haha! You’re telling me!)
I am an Earth Horse in the Chinese system of divination and with my complete beingness, I feel this. I am strong and I gallop when I’m free. I grew up with horses all around me as my father was the Chairman of the Australian Jockey Club, then the inaugural Chairman of the Thoroughbred Racing Commission and simultaneously the Chairman of the Asian Racing Commission of 63 countries. Horses surrounded me. Horses, horses and more horses. I was often dazed by their beauty as they ran.. their strong legs so incredibly elegant… their manes flying, their haughty energy nothing but lovingly accepted as part of their magestic force..
Fire-Mane is a woman made of horse and made of fire. She is a plains Indian. She knows who she is. YES.
But there is a far more mystical and cosmic interpretation of my spirit name that came to me as suddenly as, and about three seconds after, the name itself did.
I saw her… Fire-Mane…. a comet woman.. Her trails and mane blazing…
But where was she flying? Where in the Universe was she screaming to?
She was flying through the darkness to light the way for the others.
So is my path. So is my life. x
So is my name.
It’s incredible.. this wave of confront that has come up over the last few days regarding my launching the next level of my sound healing work: A STORY IN SOUND – Intensive Workshop.
I notice that all the mind chatter that is doing its darndest to take me out, to stop me from thriving, from helping the planet.. it’s telling me, once again.. “what do you know?” “how can you take this deeper, you know nothing!” and other such bullshitteries.
That’s the mind for you. It’s wonderful if it’s trained to the buggery.
I know this is just another attempt for the collective drone-zone to stop me from delivering yet another experience and opportunity to empower beings and remind them of their sovereignty.
So I say to the mind-stuff…. “WATCH ME DANCE”, as I take this work to the next level and I bust limits and take groups to new heights. My mind is afraid of the power of my light.. the power of my love, which is no way airy-fairy. My rock-solid knowing of our power in the voice and my absolute capabilities to TAKE IT ON HOME.
I invite you all!